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In the world of Mad Men, the day that Sonny Liston fought Muhammad Ali was a day for throwing ideas on the canvas and taking punches. Peggy Olson proved she was a hard case as she sparred with her boss over a Samsonite campaign. After just a few rounds, Don Draper had passed on Joe Namath and put $100 on Liston. The only good bet he made that day was on his copywriter.

May 25, 1965: The countdown for separating fax from friction had begun…

I Went to a Hockey Game and Title Fight Broke Out

On May 25,1965 in real life, Muhammad Ali defended his heavyweight title against Sonny Liston in front of a crowd that mostly missed it. Originally scheduled to take place in Boston, the contest was moved to a small town in Maine as a way to sidestep controversy. The match unfolded at a high school hockey rink instead, where history took a short right jab to the head.

In all the hub bub that surrounded the bout, one thing was clear: something powerful happened that night in Lewiston Maine…the lightening fast phantom punch was in fact, sent via fax.

This is not a pipe.

Don by Day

This device isn’t a space ship. It’s a time machine. It goes backwards, forwards. Takes us to a place where we ache to go again.

It’s not called ‘The Wheel.’ It’s called ‘The Carousel.’

Don at Night

Conversion of AC power input into DC power output without possibility of reversal using semiconductor devices only in a bridge configuration.

U.S. Patent 3185912

Prior art

Hogan’s Hero

Just two weeks prior to his death in 1960, inventor and radio pioneer John V.L.Hogan, filed a patent that set the modern world in motion. The invention, created by Donald F. Cleary, would prove that Einstein was right about time travel: The faster you move, the slower time moves for you. Case in point – it took 5 years to assign a patent to an invention that was designed to speed up the transmission of information. By the time it was granted, Liston was down for the count.

And I became a reasonable facsimile of Muhammad Ali.

Thanks, Dad.

Admissions

Bates College

Testimonials

Bates is the world's most expensive form of contraception.

– Meadow Soprano

Worth it.

– Pat Cleary

About the Bench

The Ali-Liston fight, held in the mill/college town of Lewiston Maine, was a defining moment in sports, gambling and world history. It was a flash that came with fiery speculation and incited conspiracy theories that until now, almost 60 years later, were left unanswered.

The recent FBI raid on Mar-A-Lago may might be able to provide some insight. Among the classified documents were some faxes that confirmed the fix in the fight. It wasn’t the Mafia. It wasn’t the Nation of Islam. Rather, the phantom punch was thrown by a secret society of Bates College students, who, until this criminal investigation of Donald Trump, have honored their vow of silence.

Little is known about the Wheelwright Society other than it is a clandestine operation with words unspoken since the beginning of time. Invisible to most, it has the power to change minds. Its members include sitting judges, Microsoft billionaires, athletes, a Kennedy and an heiress to the biggest casino, hotel, energy, real estate, healthcare, pharmaceutical, media, incarceration and sports entertainment conglomerate (collectively known as “the addiction industry”) in the universe. That night at the Central Maine Youth Center, however, the secret society included a young journalist who was a key player in the faxes of power and doesn’t give a fuck about what the rest of her family thinks.